i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
