Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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