you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we're so committed to being not committed
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
