I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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