I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
