you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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