break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
