Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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