Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
