If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
