Sry I called you an 8
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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