where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
