He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
where are you?
Hypothermia
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
