i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
