And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
