it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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