hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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