I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I want to be your penis for a week.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
