sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
