I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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