i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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