Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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