omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
