are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
