either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Randomize
