girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
