I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
