Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
