i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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