Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
