Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize