You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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