big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
