I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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