I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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