Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
