Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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