Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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