Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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