Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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