party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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