it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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