i just had sex bonerless
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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