I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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