oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
