I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
