All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
