doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
