I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
