How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
