There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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