Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Randomize
