Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
