I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This is my gift to your gina
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
