i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
