I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
