I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I still have a little drunk in my system
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
