To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
