She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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