Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
