There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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