I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
