I want to walk on stilts...naked
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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