Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
