Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
do nipples grow back?
Randomize