make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
